The clock on the wall taunts me
Tick by tock
The lowly chime of every half hour
Passing by
AT THE HANDS NOW
I am subjected by my dancing men
The hands turn round
To tell the tale of my life
Tick tock, tick tock
Dance to the tick
Dance to the tock
They gossip about my daily rituals
As if there is nothing better to talk about
In the hallway I hear their chatter
Tick tock
Tick tock
Goes their voices all around me
They watch as they dance by
With every tick they turn
With every tock they talk
I am alone in my room
But I hear their chatter
Tick tock, tick tock
Friday, March 11, 2022
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Write about Anything––It Still Hurts
It was November 21, 2013.
It still hurts.
It was 11:30pm when I heard the news.
It still hurts.
I had tried twice before, but it never worked out.
My professor was too busy.
I wasn't good enough.
My professor couldn't find the the time.
I need to write more.
I wasn't good enough.
I had scheduled my Master's thesis defense for the third time for November 22, 2013.
On November 21, 2013 at 11:30 pm, I received the following email:
"I'm afraid I have bad news. The response from you committee is that the thesis is not passable. This became very clear only late today, which is why I am writing you now.
I think it would be a mistake to go ahead with your defense tomorrow when we already know the outcome. For this reason, I am canceling the defense.
I will talk to --------, and see what our options are, and then you and I can talk about what to do going forward.
Sincerely,
---------------
English Professor
UT Arlington"
I cried.
For weeks.
A committee member decided, without telling me, s/he no longer wanted to be a part of my committee.
S/He quit. S/He left me with out a full committee.
And s/he never told me why.
S/He told Dr. -------, that s/he did not have the time to deal with students work who are not even at the most basic graduate level.
I was hurt.
I didn't think I was going to make it out––alive.
I was crushed.
My hopes, my dreams, the only life goal I've ever had––to be called Dr. Self after my grandfather––suffocated, obliterated, ruined, turned into a smoldering pile of crap in an instant by three people.
But, I didn't quit.
I wanted to quit.
I couldn't let myself quit.
I persevered.
On May 1, 2014 I submitted the 180 page document to my committee, scared, fearful, feeling like a failure, but hopeful.
On May 9, 2014 I passed my Master's thesis defense, unconditionally.
On May 14, 2014 I graduated with a Master's degree in English Literature.
On June 2, 2014 I asked two of my committee professors to write me letters of recommendation for Texas Tech's PhD program. This is what I received:
From Dr. ----------:
"Agreeing to write a letter of recommendation implicitly means agreeing to write a really strong letter, and I can't promise to give you my highest recommendation for doctoral study. I'm really sorry to be so blunt. You were a valuable student in class and have a fantastic work ethic, but the quality of written work just doesn't hit the mark at which I can give an unreserved and enthusiastic endorsement. I don't want to undercut your chances with a tepid letter. Perhaps there are others who would be better?"
From Dr. ----------:
"I think it's great that you have such a passion for intellectual work. But you really struggled at times through the MA. Successfully completing a PhD will be much more challenging. Based on your work here, and the feedback from your professors, I think you should give more thought to this decision. I'm sorry, but I do not believe that you are doctoral material. You seem to enjoy teaching High School, perhaps that is a better fit for you."
I was crushed.
I cried.
It still hurts.
On February 10, 2015 I received the following letter from Dr. ------:
"I am delighted to offer you admissions to the Ph.D. program in English at Texas Tech University. This offer of admission includes the offer on an assistantship to support you financially during your studies and a partial fee waiver, contingent upon your acceptance and approval by the Graduate School. We hope that you will join the outstanding class of graduate students that will begin study with us in Fall 2015. Congratulations and welcome to the Graduate Program in the Department of English at Texas Tech!"
It still hurts.
It was 11:30pm when I heard the news.
It still hurts.
I had tried twice before, but it never worked out.
My professor was too busy.
I wasn't good enough.
My professor couldn't find the the time.
I need to write more.
I wasn't good enough.
I had scheduled my Master's thesis defense for the third time for November 22, 2013.
On November 21, 2013 at 11:30 pm, I received the following email:
"I'm afraid I have bad news. The response from you committee is that the thesis is not passable. This became very clear only late today, which is why I am writing you now.
I think it would be a mistake to go ahead with your defense tomorrow when we already know the outcome. For this reason, I am canceling the defense.
I will talk to --------, and see what our options are, and then you and I can talk about what to do going forward.
Sincerely,
---------------
English Professor
UT Arlington"
I cried.
For weeks.
A committee member decided, without telling me, s/he no longer wanted to be a part of my committee.
S/He quit. S/He left me with out a full committee.
And s/he never told me why.
S/He told Dr. -------, that s/he did not have the time to deal with students work who are not even at the most basic graduate level.
I was hurt.
I didn't think I was going to make it out––alive.
I was crushed.
My hopes, my dreams, the only life goal I've ever had––to be called Dr. Self after my grandfather––suffocated, obliterated, ruined, turned into a smoldering pile of crap in an instant by three people.
But, I didn't quit.
I wanted to quit.
I couldn't let myself quit.
I persevered.
On May 1, 2014 I submitted the 180 page document to my committee, scared, fearful, feeling like a failure, but hopeful.
On May 9, 2014 I passed my Master's thesis defense, unconditionally.
On May 14, 2014 I graduated with a Master's degree in English Literature.
On June 2, 2014 I asked two of my committee professors to write me letters of recommendation for Texas Tech's PhD program. This is what I received:
From Dr. ----------:
"Agreeing to write a letter of recommendation implicitly means agreeing to write a really strong letter, and I can't promise to give you my highest recommendation for doctoral study. I'm really sorry to be so blunt. You were a valuable student in class and have a fantastic work ethic, but the quality of written work just doesn't hit the mark at which I can give an unreserved and enthusiastic endorsement. I don't want to undercut your chances with a tepid letter. Perhaps there are others who would be better?"
From Dr. ----------:
"I think it's great that you have such a passion for intellectual work. But you really struggled at times through the MA. Successfully completing a PhD will be much more challenging. Based on your work here, and the feedback from your professors, I think you should give more thought to this decision. I'm sorry, but I do not believe that you are doctoral material. You seem to enjoy teaching High School, perhaps that is a better fit for you."
I was crushed.
I cried.
It still hurts.
On February 10, 2015 I received the following letter from Dr. ------:
"I am delighted to offer you admissions to the Ph.D. program in English at Texas Tech University. This offer of admission includes the offer on an assistantship to support you financially during your studies and a partial fee waiver, contingent upon your acceptance and approval by the Graduate School. We hope that you will join the outstanding class of graduate students that will begin study with us in Fall 2015. Congratulations and welcome to the Graduate Program in the Department of English at Texas Tech!"
To whomever was on the Texas Tech PhD admissions committee:
Thank you.
From the deepest, most sincere place in my heart, Thank You.
When I look back at where I came from, it still hurts.
When I think about the professors who did not have faith in me, it still hurts.
When I remember the struggle, the pain, the anguish, and the severe depression, it still hurts.
But when I think about where I am right now at TTU, it hurts a little less each day.
Thank You Texas Tech English faculty for believing in me, for giving me a chance, for seeing something in me that others did not, Thank You.
Friday, November 13, 2015
What is the thesis to your article for this course? What support will you cite to help you make your case?
What is the thesis to your article for this course? What support will you cite to help you make your case?
'Every Day is [Not] Exactly the Same': Using Popular Music in
the Classroom to Encourage Resistant Readers
Using music in the high school English classroom seems like
it might lead to some disgruntled students, or might cause a serious
distraction. As a ninth grade English teacher, I have met quite a few resistant
readers. During a unit on the Dystopian novel, The Maze Runner by James Dashner, I used popular music to compare
and contrast themes and motifs between songs and the novel. I used Nine Inch
Nails' song "Every day is exactly the same," and Imagine Dragons'
"Radioactive" to encourage my students to engage with The Maze Runner novel. While all of my
students responded quite positively to this assignment, my resistant readers
responded more positively and engage more with the reading after doing this
analysis than my regular readers.
Using multimodality in the classroom often encourages
students to engage more fully with the tasks they are presented. I will explore
how the use of popular music encourages resistant readers to engage more fully
with a novel. Integrating multimodality mediums in the classroom can and will
change how our 21st century students learn.
Bibliography
Archer, A. “Multimodal Pedagogies and Access to Higher
Education.” South African Journal of
Higher Education 28.3 (2014): 1123-1131.
Archer, Arlene. “Multimodal texts in Higher Education and
the Implications for Writing Pedagogy.” English
in Education 44.3 (2010): 201-213.
Baur, John, Jeffrey Kenton. “Toward Technology Integration
in the Schools: Why It Isn’t Happening.” Journal
of Technology and Teacher Education 13.4 (2005): 519-546.
Bourelle, Andrew, Tiffany Bourelle, and Natasha Jones.
“Multimodality in the Technical Communications Classroom: Viewing Classical
Rhetoric Through a 21st Century Lens.” Technical Communications Quarterly 24.4 (2015): 306-327.
Durant, Cal, Alyson Simpson, and Maureen Walsh. “Moving into
a Multimodal Landscape: Examining 21st Century Pedagogy for
Multicultural and Multilingual Students.” English
in Australia 50.1 (2015): 67-76.
Epelde, Maria, Julia Bernel, Miguel Gallardo-Vigil, and
Africa Rodriguez. “Music in the Teaching and Learning of English.” The International Journal of the Humanities
9.11 (2012): 143-152.
Koutsoupidou, Theano. “Improvisations in the English Primary
Music Classroom: Teachers’ Perceptions and Practices.” Music Education Research 7.3 (2005): 363-381.
Lems, Kristin. “Music Works: Music for Adult English
Language Learners.” New Directions for
Adults and Continuing Education 107 (2005): 13-21.
Moore, David Cooper. “Learning Tunes: Pop Music in the
Classroom.” Library Media Connection (2011):
13- 14.
Palmeri, Jason. Remixing
Composition: A History of Multi-Modal
Writing Pedagogy. Carbondale: Southern Illinois UP, 2012. Print.
Paquette, Kelli, Sue Reig. “Using Music to Support the
Literacy Development of Young English Language Learners.” Early Childhood Education Journal 36 (2008): 227-232.
Reid, Alex. “Portable Composition: ITunes University and
Networked Pedagogies.” Computers and
Composition 25 (2008): 61-78.
Scanlon, Molly. “The Works of Comics Collaborations:
Considerations of Multimodal Composition for Writing Scholarship and Pedagogy.”
Composition Studies 43.1 (2015):
105-130.
Stein, Pipa. “Rethinking Resources: Multimodal Pedagogies in
the ESL Classroom” TESOL Quarterly
34.2 (2000): 333-336.
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Review the learning objectives for this course. What's one thing you've learned that connects to an objective and to your future job?
Review
the learning objectives for this course. What's one thing you've
learned that connects to an objective and to your future job?
One of the course objectives that I am naturally drawn to is the communication skills objective:
Communication skills. Understand how to present a proposal orally, using appropriate visuals. Measurement: successfully create, manage, produce, and report on artifacts through collaboration, including active participation in classroom discussion and blogs.
During this course, I have learned how to appropriately begin discussions, engage in discussions and respond to others both as a student and as a teacher. I think the term "communication skills" is a bit too broad though, and that is something that I've learned from this course.
Obviously, I knew there was formal and informal communication, but I've learned and developed more steadily my knowledge and use of different types of informal and formal communication. While I learned many years ago that I cannot speak to my professors as I speak to my sisters, and I cannot speak to my students as I speak to my peers; this course has helped further develop my conscious awareness of these different types of communication.
This will help in my future job because it teaches me to think more fully about what I want to say before speaking or writing. It also will help me communicate more effectively with my students, my peers, and my employers, and do so in different situations. For example, if I and a peer are casually sitting in one of our offices just chatting, I can communicate more informally with them, but I must also keep in mind of where I am, and that I still need to be aware of who might overhear our conversation. The same goes for communicating in my classroom as the authority figure versus communicating as a student. Moreover, it is interesting to see the different types of communication that occurs in different classrooms. For instance, in one of my classes, I feel it is critical to be genteel and professional, but in our composition classroom I feel it I can speak more freely and not fear retribution.
I think the most important part about our learning objective for communication skills that will help me in a future job, is becoming consciously aware of how I am communicating.
One of the course objectives that I am naturally drawn to is the communication skills objective:
Communication skills. Understand how to present a proposal orally, using appropriate visuals. Measurement: successfully create, manage, produce, and report on artifacts through collaboration, including active participation in classroom discussion and blogs.
During this course, I have learned how to appropriately begin discussions, engage in discussions and respond to others both as a student and as a teacher. I think the term "communication skills" is a bit too broad though, and that is something that I've learned from this course.
Obviously, I knew there was formal and informal communication, but I've learned and developed more steadily my knowledge and use of different types of informal and formal communication. While I learned many years ago that I cannot speak to my professors as I speak to my sisters, and I cannot speak to my students as I speak to my peers; this course has helped further develop my conscious awareness of these different types of communication.
This will help in my future job because it teaches me to think more fully about what I want to say before speaking or writing. It also will help me communicate more effectively with my students, my peers, and my employers, and do so in different situations. For example, if I and a peer are casually sitting in one of our offices just chatting, I can communicate more informally with them, but I must also keep in mind of where I am, and that I still need to be aware of who might overhear our conversation. The same goes for communicating in my classroom as the authority figure versus communicating as a student. Moreover, it is interesting to see the different types of communication that occurs in different classrooms. For instance, in one of my classes, I feel it is critical to be genteel and professional, but in our composition classroom I feel it I can speak more freely and not fear retribution.
I think the most important part about our learning objective for communication skills that will help me in a future job, is becoming consciously aware of how I am communicating.
Friday, October 30, 2015
Identify where you think students may fail in an assignment in your syllabus, and how you will use that at a teachable moment by design.
Identify
where you think students may fail in an assignment in your syllabus,
and how you will use that at a teachable moment by design.
I don't want to think that any of my students will fail at any of my assignments; but I will admit that I think my students might struggle with the podcast assignment on Monday February 15. I would expect my students to write out their response to the critical questions in essay form, and then they would have to adapt it to speech. This would require students to be able to fluidly shift between the written word and the spoken word.
I think with the assignment, I would require my students to turn in their essays with the podcast, and if I wanted to make it even higher level thinking and more challenging for my students, I would require that their essays and their podcast are not the same. What I mean is, I would require my students to write a formal essay to turn in, and then produce the podcast without simply reading off the paper.
I think this assignment will force students to learn the difference, and have hands on experience with, using different modalities, shifting between written and spoken words.
As for using a teachable moment, I would acknowledge the fact that students may struggle with alternating between writing and speaking, as well as formal and informal writing.
I also think that having the podcasts available for all students to listen can create a larger discussion of the texts on Blackboard and in class. I also think using podcasts will help students learn the rhetorical power of voice both in writing and speaking.
This idea stems from our conversation in class regarding using "I" in essays. Our students can easily convey their voice and opinion when speaking, so I want them to learn how to use "I" correctly in their writing, and take notice of how "I" is a flexible term.
I don't want to think that any of my students will fail at any of my assignments; but I will admit that I think my students might struggle with the podcast assignment on Monday February 15. I would expect my students to write out their response to the critical questions in essay form, and then they would have to adapt it to speech. This would require students to be able to fluidly shift between the written word and the spoken word.
I think with the assignment, I would require my students to turn in their essays with the podcast, and if I wanted to make it even higher level thinking and more challenging for my students, I would require that their essays and their podcast are not the same. What I mean is, I would require my students to write a formal essay to turn in, and then produce the podcast without simply reading off the paper.
I think this assignment will force students to learn the difference, and have hands on experience with, using different modalities, shifting between written and spoken words.
As for using a teachable moment, I would acknowledge the fact that students may struggle with alternating between writing and speaking, as well as formal and informal writing.
I also think that having the podcasts available for all students to listen can create a larger discussion of the texts on Blackboard and in class. I also think using podcasts will help students learn the rhetorical power of voice both in writing and speaking.
This idea stems from our conversation in class regarding using "I" in essays. Our students can easily convey their voice and opinion when speaking, so I want them to learn how to use "I" correctly in their writing, and take notice of how "I" is a flexible term.
Friday, October 23, 2015
List 5 terms you don't quite know yet how to define from our final keywords list.
List
5 terms you don't quite know yet how to define from our final keywords
list. Next identify three in other students' blog you do know how to
define, and comment on them there in those blogs.
Obviously I know definitions of some of these keywords, but I'm having a hard time putting them into 140 characters.
1.Stephen North
2. Dialectic vs. rhetoric
3. Intertextuality
4. Making of Knowledge
5. Genre Theory
Obviously I know definitions of some of these keywords, but I'm having a hard time putting them into 140 characters.
1.Stephen North
2. Dialectic vs. rhetoric
3. Intertextuality
4. Making of Knowledge
5. Genre Theory
Sunday, October 18, 2015
What is one assignment you will include in your syllabus assignment that uses collaboration and/or technology and/or other things Yancey, Selfe, Breuch, Bruffee, or Shaughnessey have discussed?
I was really inspired by Selfe's article for two reasons: the first being that it was written in the early 90's and how it so easily transfers to today's culture, and the ideas she puts forth for technology use and integration.
I am drawn to Selfe's comment about linguistic utopias (Pratt), and how "students [can] speak without interruption, and marginalized students can acquire more central voice" when using technology (2). This reminds me of our blogs for this class, and the forum section in blackboard that I use for Research Methods. This is a place where I can hide behind my computer screen and ultimately write whatever I want to without fear of being interrupted, where I can edit and revise my words to make them come across exactly how I want them to, a place where I can write and think freely without the judgmental looks and comments from my peers. Now, obviously, I'm still aware that what I say here is attached to my name, my face, my body; but in other spheres of the Internet, it doesn't have to be. I can create an entirely new persona on Twitter and say whatever I want to, where no one knows it's Meghan Self. The only way it could be traced to me is through my IP address on my computer.
I think the awareness of the speaker and the anonymity of the speaker and vital, especially in a classroom full of young FYC students. I remember in some of my undergrad courses where I would have these great ideas that I really wanted to add to the discussion, but would sit silently instead and not share my thoughts and ideas for fear of rejection by my peers. Even now, I somewhat censor what I say on this blog, you don't see me dropping F words every third word as I sometimes do when I'm speaking out loud to my friends (it's just diction mom; some ladies do have the mouth of a sailor and I use it for rhetorical purposes. :) )
I am going to integrate the use of Blackboard forums in my syllabus. I like the way Blackboard is one place where all the students come together to write and respond. While I think blogs are a great idea because this is my "personal space" that reflects only ME, I have to go to a separate webpage if I want to go look at everyone elses blogs, as opposed to Blackboard where everyone elses comments are unavoidable.
So I would like to follow in the footsteps on Dr. Couch for this. I will have several different forum threads available. For example: I will have a "general questions, comments, concerns" section where students can post questions about the course that are not specific to any week's reading or assignment. I will have another thread for each week that will cover the week's reading and assignment. This is where students will post specific questions about that week's reading or assignment (perhaps I will require students to be weekly leaders and post questions about the reading for their classmates to respond to). Then I will have an "Ideas" thread. This is where students can continue conversations from class discussions, can post new ideas or questions, or look for clarification on theories, ideologies, etc. Sure it can pertain to a specific week, but it is designed more for "general ideas" in the sense of "I have to write a research paper and I'm struggling to formulate an idea for the "so what factor," so they will post it there and their peers can respond accordingly.
I find great value in this, particularly the "general ideas" thread because it allows students who are maybe too shy or too nervous to speak in class to have a voice. It also allows students the opportunity to think about, edit/revise their ideas. There's been plenty of times when I leave class still thinking about an idea that was discussed and while I didn't have an answer in class, I finally found one after class and I don't want to waste it, so this is where I could post it to the "general ideas" thread.
Having forum abilities creates this "linguistic utopia," a place where I can hide behind my computer screen to write and think freely, a place where "gender, race, and socioeconomic status are minimized" (2).
I am drawn to Selfe's comment about linguistic utopias (Pratt), and how "students [can] speak without interruption, and marginalized students can acquire more central voice" when using technology (2). This reminds me of our blogs for this class, and the forum section in blackboard that I use for Research Methods. This is a place where I can hide behind my computer screen and ultimately write whatever I want to without fear of being interrupted, where I can edit and revise my words to make them come across exactly how I want them to, a place where I can write and think freely without the judgmental looks and comments from my peers. Now, obviously, I'm still aware that what I say here is attached to my name, my face, my body; but in other spheres of the Internet, it doesn't have to be. I can create an entirely new persona on Twitter and say whatever I want to, where no one knows it's Meghan Self. The only way it could be traced to me is through my IP address on my computer.
I think the awareness of the speaker and the anonymity of the speaker and vital, especially in a classroom full of young FYC students. I remember in some of my undergrad courses where I would have these great ideas that I really wanted to add to the discussion, but would sit silently instead and not share my thoughts and ideas for fear of rejection by my peers. Even now, I somewhat censor what I say on this blog, you don't see me dropping F words every third word as I sometimes do when I'm speaking out loud to my friends (it's just diction mom; some ladies do have the mouth of a sailor and I use it for rhetorical purposes. :) )
I am going to integrate the use of Blackboard forums in my syllabus. I like the way Blackboard is one place where all the students come together to write and respond. While I think blogs are a great idea because this is my "personal space" that reflects only ME, I have to go to a separate webpage if I want to go look at everyone elses blogs, as opposed to Blackboard where everyone elses comments are unavoidable.
So I would like to follow in the footsteps on Dr. Couch for this. I will have several different forum threads available. For example: I will have a "general questions, comments, concerns" section where students can post questions about the course that are not specific to any week's reading or assignment. I will have another thread for each week that will cover the week's reading and assignment. This is where students will post specific questions about that week's reading or assignment (perhaps I will require students to be weekly leaders and post questions about the reading for their classmates to respond to). Then I will have an "Ideas" thread. This is where students can continue conversations from class discussions, can post new ideas or questions, or look for clarification on theories, ideologies, etc. Sure it can pertain to a specific week, but it is designed more for "general ideas" in the sense of "I have to write a research paper and I'm struggling to formulate an idea for the "so what factor," so they will post it there and their peers can respond accordingly.
I find great value in this, particularly the "general ideas" thread because it allows students who are maybe too shy or too nervous to speak in class to have a voice. It also allows students the opportunity to think about, edit/revise their ideas. There's been plenty of times when I leave class still thinking about an idea that was discussed and while I didn't have an answer in class, I finally found one after class and I don't want to waste it, so this is where I could post it to the "general ideas" thread.
Having forum abilities creates this "linguistic utopia," a place where I can hide behind my computer screen to write and think freely, a place where "gender, race, and socioeconomic status are minimized" (2).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)