The Tracks of Life

Sometimes life will take you where you want to go, sometimes it doesn't. But what I've learned thus far in my 21 years of experience is that no matter where you go, no matter which path you choose if you follow your heart you will always end up where you were supposed to be all along.

Corporate Holiday or Real Holiday?

So the story goes:

"Saint Valentine's Day (commonly shortened to Valentine's Day) is an annual holiday held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions. The holiday is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 496 AD. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines"). The holiday first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished." (Wikipedia)

But my question is, why?

Why did Pope Gelasius I establish this day? I understand that he probably wanted a day for lovers to express their love, however, it seems Pope Gelasius didn't have a very keen insight to romance and relationships. Now, I'm not saying I know anything about Pope Gelasius and his relationships, because I've never even heard of him. I could do further research but it's not my point really, so it doesn't matter.

My point:
Lovers should celebrate their love every day, not just one day out of the year.

So I question, why did Pope Gelasius deem Feb. 14th Valentine's day when in reality, for two people in love, everyday should be "Valentine's day".

My next thought is, maybe the Pope wanted to establish this day as the 'focal' point to relationships, if you will. Like Christmas, we celebrate the birth of Christ, but Christians should praise God everyday. I certainly hope that is what Pope Gelasius was going for.

But why has Valentine's Day turned into a huge chocolate factory, card giving, flower sending shoebox decorating holiday? Where did this mess come from?

Why do we spend $13.5 billion on chocolate and cocoa products for Valentine's Day?
Or $422 million on Flowers?
(http://www.census.gov)

Fun Facts:
52% of men propose on Valentine’s Day

10% Of Americans get engaged on Valentines Day

53% of women will dump their boyfriends if they don’t give them anything on Valentines’ Day

3% of people give their pets a Valentine’s Day Present

Average amount spent on valentine’s day gifts is $90
(http://www.perfume.net)

I don't understand why people would spend so much money all for one day because someone said so. Doesn't it kind of show conformity and almost fascism?

I know everyone reading this is probably saying to themselves right about now: "Wow this girl is pathetic, she's only pissed off because she either got dumped last Valentine's Day or doesn't even have a man." Well it's actually the opposite, I had a great boyfriend last Valentine's Day that yes, bought me flowers, and this Valentine's Day I do have someone. But I specifically asked him not to do anything for me or get me anything because if he ever felt the need to express how he felt about me, or just wanted to buy me flowers for no reason at all, the last day of the 365 days in this year would be on Valentine's Day. If a man really loved me as much as he acts/says/ or even really does, he shouldn't need a national holiday to tell me.

But then again, I'm never opposed to getting flowers or chocolate on any random day of the year, even if that day randomly is February 13th.

For the Record

I awoke early this morning to a different light shining through my window. It was a dull sort of light as opposed to the normal bright beautiful yet extremely annoying sun shine. I got a call to take a look outside, I knew it was supposed to snow today, but to my very excited surprise it had already snowed about 2 inches! I couldn't believe that it had already snowed that much in just a few hours. Luckily it continued to snow heavily all morning so my mom, my dog, Daisy, and I made a snow man in our front yard, and then proceeded to have a snowball fight. My mom threw a huge snowball right in my face and that's when I decided to call it quits. My feet were frozen in my Sperry Topsiders, I needed rain boots.

I went to Walmart- no such luck.

I went to Target- no such luck either.

I went to Steinmart and finally found some boots.

Went to my friends house and built a gigantic fort in which we decided to ambush each other then took the wakeboard, my snowboard and a skimboard to a local hill where we slide down the hill a ton of times until I couldn't feel my toes any longer.

I know they're caled rain boots, and not snow boots, but you'd still think they'd keep you a tad warmer than sneakers right? WRONG!! Had I stayed outside any longer, I probably would have gotten frost bite on my baby toes and would have had to cut them off!! OUCH!

okay I'm just being over dramatic, but for real my toes were frozen.

The only think that could have made my day better was if I didn't have to work most of the day before I could go outside and play with my friends.

All in all- we had a record of 8inches of snow as of 9pm this evening and it's supposed to continue snowing until after midnight tonight.

:)

I LOVE IT!!

i started another story.. but it'll never be finished

I awoke the other morning with the strangest want to write, so i laid in bed for a few minutes thinking of what i could write about. The sentence "He never had a real place to call home" came to mind and made me think of someone i used to know. So i pulled out a pen and some paper and just began to write. The words flowing freely from my mind, to my hand through the pen and onto the paper. I wrote for about an hour. After a finishing a few pages of text, I realized i wasnt even sure of what i was writing. I'm too afraid to go back and read it right now, but eventually i will, eventually i will have to to finish. But i usually never finish any of my writings.

So many people have complimented me on my drive and ambition to finish school as quick as i did, they compliment me on my ability to complete things, but what they do not know is that rarely do i ever reach a final end to things. I dont like to think of things coming to an indefinite end. Like books, for instance, I highly recommend the book The Delivery Man by Joe McGinniss Jr., it's one of the best books ive ever read in my life, it was a book i never wanted to end. Back to my writing, i never get a chance to finish any of it, its either caused by having little time, too many interruptions, but mostly life. Life causes me not to finish things, Life always tends to get in the way, in my head, it overruns my thoughts and blocks out my creativity so i can not write anymore. I never can think of a good point to a story.

I had a conversation with a fellow writer friend of my the other day and we talked about how we both have this ungodly fear of "what's the point"-itis. We can never figure out what the point to our writing is, and why anyone anywhere in the world would ever care to read what we have to say. "What's the point"-itis, i wonder if Stephen King or Danielle Steele or Vince Fylnn ever had "What's the point"-itis. I wish i could ask them.

J.D. Salinger once said “There is a marvelous peace in not publishing,” J.D. Salinger told The New York Times in 1974. “Publishing is a terrible invasion of my privacy. I like to write. I love to write. But I write just for myself and my own pleasure.”

I wish I could think like him. Maybe one day I will, maybe one day I will stop trying to influence the world with my writing and write for myself. Then it wouldnt matter if I finished anything or not.

I suppose I can live with influencing through my teaching... but that's not what I want.

Maybe it's just not in God's plan for me to be a published author. who knows.

More Older Writings I found on my computer...

It meant having late night complimentary traverses with anyone I could find to contribute to the consumers demand. Whenever wherever was the rule I commanded with, not only did it support the wealth coming to a bitter end, it began to overrun the rules of the game. The game soon ended after 3 months, it became a habit, a habit I couldn’t break. The money was fading fast pulling out hundreds weekly with no other source of income except for what I had saved up from a previous profession. It soon took over my life; the only song I would allow myself to ease my mind with was “Hotel California” by the Eagles. Quoted everywhere on everything I owned it stated, “last thing I remember I was running for the door I had to find the passage back to the place I was before, goodnight said the night man and welcome to the sea ,You can check out any time you like but you can never leave”


We shouldn’t pretend
It never was there
Lies
It wasn’t even there to begin with..
Through the eyes of the darkened source I begin to breathe
The unsightly sights of this gruesome thing called love
Or hate the beach tames the waves like the eyes of the evil
Shuts out the light the dark light
Shining through out the life of these unborn humans
Walking around on sticks like life
Was supposed to happen
Do as told as told by the sights of weather
By the sights of life
Mindless beings don’t question who or why
Emotions only the way to excommunicate to the life it once was
Back again to see the blind.
Down to the river to drown the life
That wasn’t supposed to be the walking on sticks
Through the eyes given by love I see the mindless
I noticed the unforgiven.
I forgave. The confidence once inside of my human
Left long again with his words of hate
Cruel words spit at me like water on the fire of love.
if its true let me be the cruel letters spilling from the lips that
claim to withhold the power of love.
How can one object hold the power to life and death.
Hate and love all from one place
Where did these humans get the ideas?
How is it possible to believe in such hate and claim to love
Or is all hate and lies through the eye of the beholder?

Repetitive State - Story of My Life

Well, it's coming down to the repetitive state in my work life again. Most 40 hour work week folks know exactly what I'm talking about. Every week day is the same, wake up at the exact same time, do your morning routine in the exact same order that you've been doing every weekday morning for the past 10 years. Leave for work at the exact same time, take the exact same route, park in your same parking spot...etc. Though your work day and work load might not be the exact same everyday it's in the general category, right?! Yes.

I'm not saying it's a bad thing, i'm just saying its repetitive.

I love both my jobs, don't get me wrong. Absolutely, I found these two jobs, the social media intern and waitress jobs are the first two jobs that I've actually been really happy about. I loved working at the Ole Dusty Trail in Denton, but with all the drama and poor management it got real old real fast. But at Rojo, even though i'd do things a bit different, things are working out great. As for the internship, geeze let me tell you, you know that feeling you get deep down inside your gut when you find the perfect pair of shoes. Your whole body just KNOWS that those are the right pair of shoes for you, as if they were made and put in that store just for you to buy... that's how i feel about this internship. It was made for me... probably not really, but coincidentally I got the job and it feels right. I know this online marketing business is going to BOOM in the next 3 to 5 years and I want to enjoy the ride, i want to be apart of it. I want to be able to look back and tell my children how I was a part, a miniscule part, but nonetheless a part of the online media generation. I helped create it. Even if all i did was put a tiny piece of scotch tape onto the building blocks of the online media world, that tiny piece of tape wouldn't be there if it weren't for me; and who knows, had that tiny worthless piece of tape not of been place strategically in that specific spot I chose for it to be placed... the online media world might not be what it will become..

Hmm..

Something to think about.

I hope people realize that every single movement and choice they make in life some how in some way makes the world a better place. Sure you could counteract my statement with something like "what about those people who litter, they're hurting the earth.." well to answer that, if it weren't for scum bags who litter, we probably wouldn't have the prisoners on the side of the highway cleaning up their trash. Which in turn could possibly save a mans life, given we all know that many deadly fights occur everyday in prison... and who knows maybe that man, that was out there picking up someone elses trash the day a deadly fight occured, maybe he was innocent... and so forth. I wont go into all the different possibilities of how things could work out, but i think you get my point.

Anyway, though my work days have become repetitive, and quite frankly annoying, I don't plan to give up either job anytime soon. Maybe you should think about that next time you get tired of doing the daily grind for 10 years...

oh and while you're at it... take a break and listen to Mark McKinney's Story of My Life song- I guarantee it'll make you feel a hell of a lot better.



oh and on another note- i fractured my tail bone in Lake Tahoe snowboarding... ouch!!

Poetry Sharing Time- all mine.

I'd like to know what you think, so leave COMMENTS!! LOTS OF COMMENTS!!
A lot of these don't really make sense, and a lot of them aren't worth anything good, but they're my thoughts and my words that I'm willing to share with you.

1. Dont be afraid now baby, i wont be gone for too long, once i get to the water ill turn right around and come back to where i belong. driving fast down this dusty old dirty road i never thought id tell you where i never thought id go. ill be back around again this town just you wait you'll see, one day ill come back to gather up the rest of my baggage that you left here waiting for me.

2. I waited so long to feel your touch just once more
i wanted too long for you to come running
but now the time has come and gone and i cant keep holding on to this memory
i played myself the fool thought you and i could make it
through the rough times but ive been left here waitin
you tell me that you love me
but i just cant believe in you
when youre not here and im all alone
its hard to hear you say i love you through the phone

when are you comin back around
when i will i see you again
i travel these lonesome grounds
wishing you'll be here once more
but with the slamming of the door
i know that you wont be comin back no more.
but then you tell me that you love me,
say baby it'll be alright
but i just cant believe you
not when im alone again tonight.
cause i travel this road day after day
dreamin that you'll be there when i get home
but then there's not even a message left on the phone

3. Waves
beautifully serene
crashing into the sand
grains of salt caress me
waves

4. I walked along the shore
watching the ocean tide rise
when a seagull approached me and asked if i could spare him a dollar
i questioned his morals
despite no ones ever told me not to trust the gull birds
telling me he wanted to buy a diamond
i scoffed at his insane speech
when the bird flew off he hit me with his poop.

5. I found a tiny pebble
and put it in my hand,
pretty and all alone
why? i didn't understand

I threw it in the river
so no one could ever find
my secret treasure
i had to leave behind.