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Paranoid, I frantically began sending out emails to each of the schools I have applied to for their English graduate program. I received word that my 4 letters of recommendation had not reached their destinations nor had my official transcripts from the two community colleges I attended while in high school. In response to one email I sent to the University of Texas at Arlington, the graduate advisor informed me that he had just submitted my name for the English Graduate Studies Program for Fall 2010, of course it was under probationary admissions. For those of you who do not know about probationary admissions, all it means is my GPA wasn't very good, and my GRE score (which the man told me in the email) was way below standard (ha! Duh! I could have told you that) but because of the two letters of recommendation he received he believed I would still be a good graduate candidate. Though under probation I must maintain a B average my first semester. I plan to have A's in all 36 hours of my Masters program... no no correction ... I WILL HAVE ALL A'S IN MY 36 HOUR MASTERS PROGRAM.

Though I am thoroughly excited about the acceptance email, I am still holding my breath for Colorado State University, or even Kansas State University. Many people whom I've spoken with about those two schools always say the same thing, "but you don't know anyone in Colorado or Kansas, and you're so far from home." Well boys and girls... thats pretty much the point.

Now don't get me wrong, God knows I LOVE this great state of Texas, especially the little North Texas town called Denton, but I think it's time to escape these Texas roots of mine for 2 years. I've never lived anywhere else besides Texas, I've never lived anywhere outside the DFW metroplex for cryin' out loud! I want to experience life outside of DFW. I know that DFW is one of the greatest economically sound metroplexes in America, but the way I see it, I can always come back. I have family here, my roots are here, I know Dallas like I know the pattern of the cowlick in my hair and I think it's time to extend my branches and find something else.

I feel like a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders because now it's not a question of IF i'll get into Grad school, but WHERE I will go. I now have reassurance that I am in fact GOING to graduate school. YAY!!

Now, I need to push to the finish of this race.

My father keeps pushing me to apply to the University of Texas in Austin, I thought that was where I wanted to go before, just because I like Austin a lot, but what he doesn't realize and what I keep trying to tell him is that I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO UT AT ALL!!! I'm sure it's a great school, I'm sure I could get a wonderful education there, but I know it's not where I need to get my Master's degree. My parents don't believe so much in "feelings". They don't understand that I have to have that "feeling" before I make a life changing decision. For example, for my undergraduate I applied to Texas State in San Marcos and UNT. My mom and I visited Texas State first, I loved it, I loved the campus, the town, the weather, the dorms, the hills, everything it was a great school and I seriously thought that was where I wanted to go until we drove into Denton, Texas and I got this feeling. This feeling of belonging, of security, safety, and happiness. At that moment the campus didn't matter, money didn't matter, the education didn't matter, I knew Denton,Texas is where I belonged. I'm not sure if you can testify for any of those feelings before, but I certainly can. You get this overwhelming sense of serenity and peace. It feels like that 1000 piece puzzle box you've been working on your whole life is now complete. When I drove into Denton, I picked up that final shape to the puzzle and fit it snug in its perfect place.

I need to visit Colorado state and Kansas state before I commit to attending either school, if I do get accepted, to see if I get that feeling. If I don't i certainly wont go there and that's that.

Call me crazy for basing my future on a feeling but it worked once, who's to say it won't work again?