11/18/10
Woke up starving, but not craving bread, so that was good.
Went about my usual morning routine, made some French Vanilla coffee with a splash of Almond Milk for sweetness.
Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs and 3 slices of lean bacon. A lot of people don't do this, but I HAVE to put ketchup on my scrambled eggs. I know most people think its gross, but my mom taught us to do that growing up. I guess it's a Yankee thing. But the point is, scrambled eggs with out ketchup = not good. But I ate them of course because I was hungry. Thank goodness I had the bacon to satisfy me. The only thing really missing from breakfast was a nice cold glass of orange juice! Luckily I am allowed to have fresh OJ, but the only problem... I don't own a juicer. :/ so water it is.
a few hours later and about 3 cups of coffee later I needed lunch.
The one thing I'm really liking about this nutritional life style change, is that when I eat, it's because my stomach is growling and telling me to. It's no longer my taste buds or my boredom making me eat- which I find awesome.
So for lunch I had grilled steak with Cayenne pepper, crushed red peppers, sea salt and pepper. It was pretty decent. Of course normally I'd of smothered it in A1 sauce, but it was neat to taste the meat rather than all the sauces and marinades.
Along side the steak I had a fresh romaine salad with shredded cabbage and carrots. I had ranch on my salad rather than the recommended Balsamic Vinaigrette; I just can't seem to find the right kind at the grocery store. A lot of restaurants carry a certain type of Balsamic dressing that's a brownish color but all the ones at the store are a dark purple-ish color. Then I cut up some celery, carrots and an apple to eat with red pepper hummus. Apples and carrots were perfect as usual but the celery tasted dirty.
Like real dirty. So I probably wont be eating celery again.
had two more cups of coffee after lunch to give me energy for Cross Fit later, which was extremely exhausting but amazingly awesome!
After XFNA, I stood in front of my fridge for about 20 minutes desperately searching for something, anything that would satisfy me. I never thought I'd say this but I'm tired of chicken and I had steak for lunch.
So here's where my epic failure comes in.
I went to Chili's.
:/ Guilt Level= 10
I had honey-chipotle Chicken Crispers, fries, corn on the cob and some chips, salas and queso.
Oddly enough, normally I can finish my plate and make a large dent in my refill of tostada chips and salsa, but this time I couldn't even finish my plate of fries or chicken before I started to feel sickly full. I suppressed my guilty conscious the entire time I was eating. I didn't care. I relapsed, but holy cow! was it amazing!
But then leaving Chili's my guilt level shot to a whopping 15 points!
Ugh! So disgusted with myself.
Had a single beer at Milos, felt sick the entire time. Had to come home and go to bed. Still angry with myself, but I knew there was nothing I could do about it. What's done was done and all I could do was move forward.
I've been trying to think of a punishment for myself, like eating beets or mushrooms (both of which I HATE) but I know they're good for me and written all over the Paleo diet.
As for my relapse I am back on track this morning, Day 3. I will stick to Paleo today and through the weekend. I am determined now. The guilt last night is now more of a motivation because I hate to lose, I hate to be wrong, I hate to fail and I did, but it's okay- you fall, you get back up and try again.
Like the late Aaliyah said, "If at first you don't succeed, dust your self off and try again."
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