I Deserve Cake For That

I want crackers, and cake.
(Yes, there is supposed to be a comma after "crackers". It's a dramatic pause. kthx)

yep.

That's about all I really can say these day.

But I'm 6 pounds down in 8 days... yeah.. no kidding. It's not that I'm not eating, because if you've been keeping up with my posts, you'll know all I do is eat. I've been counting calories as well to make sure that I am getting enough calories everyday. It doesn't matter if I'm eating every two hours if I'm barely reaching 1000kcal per day. That can't be good. So I've been watching it to make sure all my levels stay good. Protein stays up near or above 100g, sugars stay as low as possible, carbs are around 20 to 25g, and most importantly all my vitamins and minerals aren't being affected by going paleo. I'm struggling with my iron level though. I think if I'm going to keep going like this, I'll need to get a multivitamin.

Anyway, I woke up feeling very, very lethargic. My body was tired, my muscles seemed weak, I just didn't want to do anything but lay in bed all day.

Of course that's not an option around here, so I got up did my normal Thursday activities including CrossFit.

I didn't think today was going to be the day. But apparently, my body and mind decided it was.



I did that. Right there. That's 200 pounds.






Do you know what else weighs 200 pounds?


For the record, that's an octopus cake. WANT.












Damn right. I could deadlift that.

No seriously, though, I could NOT have done it without the support of my fellow Honey Badgers, and my coach Jamie. My Hero.

Successful Week One

It's been a whole entire week, that's 7 days. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes. (I won't go to seconds, that's a bit excessive) that I've been successfully bread-free. Holy shit I didn't think I'd make it this far.

Honestly, I thought abstaining from grains would be the death of me, literally the end. I didn't think it was possible. But once again I've amazed myself.

I've also watched my abs magically appear in the mirror. Amazed myself again.

Huh, who woulda thought I had a 6 pack of abs under the 6 pack of jelly rolls?!

It's only been 7 days and I've seen drastic changes. I'm curious to see what day 14 will look like and day 21 as well. That will be pretty neat to see.

I still crave buckets of ice cream drizzled with snickers and twizzlers but it's starting to fade. Hell who am I kidding?! No it's not! I'm just becoming more aware of why I shouldn't eat it which helps keep me in check with this paleo challenge.

I could really go for a subway sandwich though.

My moods seem to be starting to level out a little. Of course every time I see my coach Jamie I want to punch her and say "damn it Jamie! Why?!" Why didn't I listen to her a year ago when she told me to go Paleo, why didn't I adapt as easy when I did try last time? Why am I grouchy ALL.THE.DAMN.TIME?! and then say, thank you.

Thank you Jamie for kicking my ass all these days, for making me do shit I REALLY REALLY hate, like running. (in. the. cold.) For tending to my arrogance by saying things like "damn Meghan, look at your back muscles". Thank you for pushing me when I really wanted to give up. Thank you for telling me to go heavier when I didn't think I could do it. Thank you for the words of encouragement throughout the year, thank you for teaching me to appreciate my body and my strength. For making me realize that tiny women are not okay but that women should be fit, strong, and above all else healthy. But MOST IMPORTANTLY!!! THANK YOU FOR MY BIG BUTT!! or maybe I should say, new. It's not really, um 'big', it's just no longer concave. :)



Excuse my little rant about my coach. she's pretty much awesome.

Anyway, it's been a successful run so far. I just hope I can hold out through the next 14 days. I don't think they'll be any easier. Plus I have a wedding to go to next weekend.. ugh... cake. I'll have to pass on the cake! :/ But that's okay because I'm pretty sure I don't have the self control to limit myself to only one small slice if I did have any cake. I'd probably go into sugar shock-rage, like 'roid rage and literally destroy the cake. :)

It's Not Hard, It's Just Annoying

After 5 days of Paleo, I think the title to my post is pretty accurate. I didn't think it'd be as easy as it is to not eat bread. I'm not say it is easy, but I used to say and think I'd literally die without bread. Well here I am, still standing Day 5. It feels pretty good honestly.

Here's a list of a few things I've noticed that I believe are due to going Paleo:

1. When I wake up in the morning, I don't really struggle to get out of bed because I'm so tired (this is concluding I've had my typical 7-8 hours of sleep)

2. When I go to bed, I pass out pretty quick. For someone who struggled with severe insomnia for 5 straight miserable years and still have repeat episodes of sleepless weeks, I never take for granted the ability to fall asleep instantly.

3. I don't stay asleep throughout the night. I'm used to this so it's not that big of a deal but pre-paleo I was sleeping pretty well through the night. I don't know if going Paleo is the cause, or it is my 'end of the semester stress levels'.

4.I stink. This is probably the worst effect of going Paleo. some of you may be thinking, "ew! gross, she's a girl, girl's don't stink!" Well, sorry, but we do. I have no scientific research to back up this claim I'm about to make, but it seems logical enough to be correct: The reason I stink is because my body is going through a detox process of ridding itself of all the nastiness I put inside my body for the past 23 years. It's breaking into 10 year old fat pockets that's home to significant amounts sugar and fat elements from my 13th birthday party strawberry and chocolate cake. So when I sweat, I'm sweating out that crap instead of just the recent crap I put in my body like normal. And can you imagine what 10 year old strawberry and chocolate cake smells like? ew. Or I'm sweating out all the meat and vegetables I've been eating and well both of those after being digested, probably don't smell too good either. So to combat the stink, I take precautionary steps to ensure I smell like vanilla cupcakes to everyone around me, all the time. :) (Bath & Body Works - Lemon Vanilla Body Kit)

5. I stay full longer. Now this one only came into realization today. I packed a HUGE lunch last night knowing I'd have to go through all 3 meals on the go since it was a 16 hour day for me to go from work to school. Normally I'm famished by 5pm and must eat before class. Not this time. I ate an almond fruit bar around 3pm and stayed full until about 7pm. That's pretty good for me. Of course having not eaten for 4 hours and listening to a discussion about service-learning, I was falling asleep. But it was cool to not rush home because my stomach was in knots and eating itself. Of course I still ate ridiculous amounts of food, all paleo no worries, but I didn't go into feeding frenzy like normal.

6. I'm getting serious muscle cramps. A lot. Painful. Very Painful. I can't blame it on dehydration because I always drink AT LEAST 64oz of water/day, and I haven't been to the gym since Thursday or done anything exercise-worthy to need more water. I try to drink a gallon of water a day, it's a fun challenge, and I feel like it keeps my kidneys in good shape, especially to counterbalance all the coffee I drink.


For now, that's all I can come up with. I'm sure I'll add more as this progresses. But it certainly seems like it's dragging on... ugh. it's only been 5 days?!! When I did the 21-day no purchasing food challenge it flew by! It went from day 3 to day 21 in no time!

For my closing remarks, I'd like to say I really really really hope that when this is over my body cannot stomach bread and cheese as well as it used to. I don't stomach moo milk very well, never really have, but it's been progressively worse over the year since switching to Almond Milk. I hope the second I eat a big fat cheesy nacho my body wants to purge it, one end or another but it wants it out. If that happens it'll certainly help keep me on the right paleo track. Otherwise once this is over and my body takes bread and cheese like it used to, I'll probably go back to the way things were. Eating slices of cold bread with butter straight from the fridge while watching tv, or eating a bag full of Ritz crackers while slaving away over homework.

I don't want that though. So maybe just the idea of not wanting to do those things when this is over, will help me limit or even full refrain from it.

Maybe.

Nut Butter vs Nutty Butter

VS

Seriously. Almonds. E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E!!
Why can't Lil Debbie make a paleo nutty butter bar?!

Any time I take a bite of something, it tastes like an almond.

Luckily, I like almonds, just not that much.

Is a crab-apple paleo? Because that's certainly what I'm turning into.

My mood swings are starting to ease, at least I have a sense of humor about it. However, these mood swings are different, or so I think, lets ask everyone else around me if it's true or not... but I feel like these moods and temper tantrums are of a 5 year old, not a 23 year old stressed out adult female student.

Like I said in my previous post all I seem to do is eat. Spent the entire day 4 eating. And like I said it all tasted like damn almonds.

I think this may get a little easier as the challenge continues because right now we're in the experimental stage or trying new Paleo recipes so we haven't figured out which ones are keepers and which aren't, and I know there's plenty of other recipes out there I just haven't found yet, but I will.

It'll get easier once I gain more knowledge about it.

I think my biggest struggle I've come up against, other than waking from my nap Saturday to dreams of Twizzlers, is I no longer have my crackers to help my writer's block. The salty texture, the crunch, the crumbs, the shape, the airy lightness of it, every little aspect of a cracker really helps my writer's block. And since I'm trying to write the conclusion to my conference paper, I feel if I can't get it done by Wednesday, I'll have to have either 1. have a cheat hour to get my brain thinking properly again, or 2. for the love of all that is Paleo make some almond cracker-like chips.

I'm still trying to figure out this whole not being hungry all the time thing and I think instead of eating big meals 3-4 times a day with a snack or two. I'm going to have to eat something every hour. So instead of having a 3 course dinner, have a three hour dinner. :/ I hate that idea because I feel like I'm over eating and breaking the laws of domesticity or something because it's what my parents taught me to do. You have dinner at one time, at the table, with the whole family and World News with Charles Gisbson on low in the background. (I know Diane replaced Charles, so now it's a mix between her and WFAA. Pete Delkus. I Love You.) But I suppose I can learn to break that habit for this challenge and do what is necessary to keep me full and.. wait for it, play on Frosted Mini Wheats... focused. :)

Sorry, this post is a bit boring. But that's how my day went.
Wake up
Eat
Google recipes
Eat
Paper
Whole Foods
Eat
Paper
Eat
Shower
Sleep

HOW EXCITING!!!

I Can't Get No Satisfaction: Day 3

It's day 3 of 21 and I'm still hanging in there.

ohh my gosh! Walnut and Rosemary crusted chicken tender lettuce wrap. I'm currently eating, again, as I write this post.

I think it's important for me to say "eating again" because it seems that's all I did today. Wake up, eat, coffee, eat, work on my conference paper, cook, eat, Facebook, nap, eat, work on conference paper, cook and here I am eating again.

I decided to forgo eating any eggs today for two reasons:
1. Trying to make them last for at least a week
2. Don't want to get burnt out on eggs too quickly. I have a feeling towards the end of this challenge I'll be so tired of meat and veggies that all I'll be able to stomach is eggs.

Moving on, when I awoke from my nap earlier I was thinking about Twizzlers. Weird, right? Not weird if you know me and how much I adore Twizzlers. It's better than the dream I had about eating marshmallows the morning after Thanksgiving. That was weird. So I had my first real sugar craving as I laid there thinking about Twizzlers. I woke up less tired but feeling more like crap. I had a headache, my stomach hurt and I was a bit confused. Not in the I don't know the answer or I don't understand kind of confused; but in the I can't think straight, possibly drunk kind of confused. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to think about, I couldn't focus my eyes on any one object in my room and I felt sick, but an unidentifiable sick, I couldn't pin point the weird feeling in my body like I normally can when I'm sick with a cold/flu/food poisoning, whatever. So I got up and just sort of walked around my apartment for a minute trying to regain control of my thoughts. It helped a little but I needed to sit down otherwise my body was going to expel something and I wasn't sure from where.

The confusion subsided shortly after I sat down. But then I needed to eat. Again.

Normally I'd be totally okay and loving how often I've been eating, but today it sucks and I'm afraid it's going to suck for quite a while. There is a difference between satisfaction and full, which I am unfortunately learning the hard way. Of course, I'm not an idiot and I know there is a difference but my stomach apparently wasn't aware of it or it forgot it.

I keep eating and eating and eating trying to satisfy myself but it's not working. The only thing that will satisfy me is this:

Which sucks.

So to ease the sugar craving I made mashed sweet potatoes with walnuts and cinnamon. Of course it wasn't and will never be as good as ice cream, it helped. A lot.

Moreover, I've realized that while I may be eating more often than usual, I don't think I'm consuming a different amount of calories than I normally would on a Paleo-free day. The difference is I haven't thought about calories at all today. It's pretty nice I'll say. Not that I'm an avid calorie-counter anyway, I'm just more AWARE of what food I eat that has a higher percentage of calories than other foods I eat. Of course, I will always opt for the smaller portion of something bad like ice cream- a single serving vs two scoops- but it's obviously not like I really deny myself anything unless of course I've eaten like shit (meaning high in calories) throughout the day and then the waiter asks me if I was dessert, I'll say no. Save myself a few hundred or (in a Chili's Moulton Chocolate Cake case) thousand calories.

My point is it's nice not to worry about calories because I can't eat like shit during this challenge. And even if I do eat well over 1800kcal (or so what I've researched for recommended for maintaining my current weight) it's okay because it's not going to be stored as little fat asses in my fat pockets in strategic little dimple-like star maps on my outer thighs, inner thighs, butt, hips, back of the arms, stomach, back fat, back boob, neck, or any other place my fat stores itself except for my in my chest. Clearly it doesn't store it self there... Damn.

I guess the best part of these past 3 days is the fact that I haven't once really craved any bread. At least not like I did the last time (see here for the last time).

I think going bread-free for 21 days will be easier than I think. Since the last time I tried going Paleo I've significantly dropped my bread intake. I used to literally eat slices of plain bread for a meal/snack. Or worse, with butter. Not even toasted! Although that does sound good right now it's not making my mouth water, which is a good sign I'd say. But the thought of unwrapping a Starburst, hell even the banana flavored one, is making me irritated and all water-mouthy. ugh..

Staying strong. Thank God I have coconut covered dates. They're so tasty and sweet! But because they do have 16 natural grams of sugar per date, I'll only allow myself one or two a day to keep my sugar intake as low as possible.

It's 9:15pm. I bet I eat one or two more times before I go to bed in like an hour. This is ridiculous. If I had known that all it took was to eat clean and not like crap all these years I'd of lost that whole pood in less than a year as opposed to the two years it took me by eating like shit still, counting calories, spending hours on a treadmill, switching from Vodka/cranberries to beers on a night out and not understanding why the weight wasn't coming off.


Damn. That extra weight I had on me looks a lot different like this:






Stay Paleo. Stay strong.

Workplace Lunch Adventures

I wasn't planning on blogging about today until this evening after I finished dinner, however, I am currently stuck in what I believe is my first mood swing/ fit o' rage! Here's why:

It's 12:30pm and the office is a world of exciting, delicious but forbidden smells circulating in and around my cubical. I hear wrappers being opened, people munching and cans of soda being opened. So I just put my headphones on, drank some water and continued to be a little busy working bee.

Soon my tummy starts growling.

I brought rosemary and crushed red pepper covered baked chicken. It's a classic staple in my house, so needless to say I was pretty excited about eating it. Not too thrilled that I decided last night to pack peas & carrots rather than a sweet potato, buuut the peas accent the rosemary exceptionally well in my mouth.

I walk into the kitchen where I am unfortunately greeted by a big fat wave of HOLY SHIT THAT'S NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY 2% PALEO OR HEALTHY IN ANY WAY NO MATTER WHICH WAY YOU LOOK AT IT -- CHEESY PASTA WITH CHICKEN and some other weird ingredients that gave a slight scent of Mexican food. Ugh.

Bowing my head, I B-line it to the fridge and over to the microwave.

Where I meet a co-worker heating up his lunch. I was unaware of what he was having for lunch when he struck up the following conversation:

Co-Worker: "Hey Meghan, how's it going?"
Me: "Hey, it's going okay, glad it's Friday."
Co-Worker: "Yeah, I know what you mean. ooo what's that you're having, looks good."
Me: "It's rosemary chicken, peas and carrots."
Co-Worker: "Hrm.. sounds healthy."
Me: "Yeah, *sigh* I'm doing a Paleo challenge with my CrossFit friends."
Co-Worker: "oh? Paleo, that sucks. I've heard of it. How's it coming?"
Me: "Well, it's only day two and things are going decent so far, but we'll see how much longer I can last. I'm not looking forward to the bread cravings."

Suddenly in the background, I hear a very jumbled accented "Happy Birthday" singing... I turn and see a GINORMOUS seriously, 2 ft by 3ft Giant Hello Kitty birthday cake.

Me: "Oh, come on! are you serious?!"
Co-Worker: " hahahah!! that sucks! you can't have any! Hey wait, shouldn't meat be off limits too since it's grain fed animals?"
Me: "That's the problem with being Paleo on a budget. You can't afford grass-fed meat. So you have to deal with the cards your dealt and do the best you can. And I want the cake now, but I'd prefer it not to live the rest of my life around my waistline and in my arteries."

Co-Worker pulls out lunch from the microwave and slightly turns their back to me so I can't exactly see what they've got.

Co-Worker: "Yeah I know what you mean, my spouse and I have been eating so well lately, I really feel a difference. And if you're eating grain fed animals, you're not really Paleo are you?"

As he turns to leave, I catch a quick glimpse of his lunch...



REALLY?! Good Grief.





I refuse to go through this the rest of my life having to constantly explain these things to people who don't really care to understand it, they just want to challenge it. Look, if you want a challenge, meet me in the gym, otherwise shut the eff up and eating your disgusting goopy over-processed mess you call lunch.

It's the last month to make a change in 2011. Do it. Now. Seriously.

Okay, so in honor of the last month in 2011, I've decided to start another 21 day challenge. This time it's going to be waaay harder than the last. But I know it's going to be so worth it. Here's the rules.

1. No grains
2. No dairy
3. No sugar
4. No bitching .. ahh just kidding. Bitching is totally ok and necessary.

I'm about to send my body into a downward hell hole spiral of cravings, mood swings, acne, hunger, frustration and a lot, I mean A LOT of curse words. My body is about to go into detox state. ew.

This will be interesting. If you've ever visited my blog here before, particularly last November, you'll remember I once tried to go paleo but failed, miserably.

Oh, the paleo "sponge-like" pancakes. *barf* (note the picture, yep.. that's them)

Anyway, I failed, but looking back now I'm okay with that. A lot of things were changing and happening in my life at the time and going paleo just wasn't the highest thing on my list at the moment. I had just started grad school and just started crossfit. I was both mentally and physically out of shape, working hard, and exhausted 24/7. The last thing I could, should, and needed to concern myself with was not eating pizza.

Once I got a better handle on the whole body/mind/life changing threshold, I've slowly learned to incorporate paleo into my lifestyle as much as possible. I'd say I'm a good 60-70% paleo 100% of the time. err.. well maybe more like 99.8% of the time because I occasionally drink moo milk when I'm at my sisters or my parents house with my coffee. But I always regret it later-- I've seem to become more lactose intolerant over the past year since I quit moo milk. Which I'm ok with, moo milk smells funny anyway and I never really liked it to begin with, it's just all I grew up with so it's all I ever knew.

So in honor of starting day 1 off right, I had a big pile of BACON!!! Turkey bacon and peppercorn bacon! yay!!! BACON!!! (thinking Jim Gaffigan here)

I wanted eggs, would have had eggs too if I hadn't eaten the last of the eggs on Monday. Went to Racetrac, assuming they have eggs but they did not. :( But that's okay because I still got my BIG PILE OF BACON!!

I really hope my friends will join me on this journey/challenge with words of encouragement, motivation, recipes and ooo!! maybe we should have a Crossfit Paleo Potluck dinner.