Okay so going back and rereading my previous day 3 post and I'm feeling just about the same right now as I was the last time, well minus the sick feeling. But sugar cravings, check. Bread cravings, double check. According to Robb's meal plan I was supposed to have chicken, salsa and 1/2 avocado for breakfast this morning. But I don't have salsa.
I considered going to Wal-mart for some salsa, but then as always my though pattern went as followed:
salsa, chips, queso, chips, meat, El Cayote Rojo salsa, tortillas, butter, warm chips, butter, tortillas covered in butter dipped in salsa, tacos, soft tacos, chicken tacos, grease, grease looks likes the caramel sauce on flan, oh! flan, jello, pudding, strawberry cheesecake, chocolate cake, chocolate covered almonds, almonds, paleo, fuck. Then I was depressed.
I want so bad to follow Robb's plan, but seriously. Every time I go paleo, 1. it's not that it's hard it's more annoying. 2. it reminds me never to get hooked on any type of drug because if I'm having serious issues by just giving up bread and ice cream, Lord only knows how bad giving up a drug would be. I suppose I better understand why the suicide rates are so high for drug addicts in treatment. I also see why so many drug addicts relapse.
Moreover, on a more light-hearted note, I want to punch something.
Paleo makes me angrrry.
Seriously. angrrry.
Like, I need to go to CrossFit just to scream and curse really loud in public without anyone thinking something is mentally wrong with me. I need to go move something heavy, I need to re-energize my body with something good, like a tire or a fire hose.
Hey Jamie, if you're reading this let's flip some tires or slam some hoses or hell even put some balls to the wall tomorrow please. Something that takes my whole body, my whole mind, essence, anger, entire being to complete. Please. Even a 10 min AMRAP of burpees and squats would be great!
The best thing I can say that is going for me right now is the variety of food I've eaten. This time it's not all chicken, eggs, bacon, and veggies.
Day 1 of course consisted of the 2 things I hate most: Fish and Green Beans. I ate half of my plate and called it quits before I threw up. Yesterday I ate burgers on a bed of lettuce and some steamed broccoli and chicken. I'm supposed to have tuna and cabbage salad for lunch today, mehhhhhh.... I may pass on that one. I'm still recovering from Monday's fish dinner. We'll see though. I intend to stick to Robb's meals as best as possible although, he has hailbut, shrimp and tilapia on the list. NO EFFFING WAY DUDE.
I will sub those for chicken.
I just really hope this ANNNNGEERRR goes away soon, I've got a lot of shit to do and anger shouldn't be apart of it otherwise it's just going to stress me out even more. Which will lead to more CFing, and getting less things marked off my to-do list which will result in more stress and anger. So let's just hope the anger dissipates that way no one gets hurt.
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