Hello Life Direction, are you out there?

Today hasn't been as easy as I thought it was going to be. The day after my test last time, I wasn't phased much by the bad score, but today, I am. I've been in an easily irritable mood, gloomy and selfish today and I think I deserve the right to be and feel all of the above without a conciliation prize of a fight because I'd to see all of you out there trying to fulfill your dream and have it come crashing down on you each time you think you've got it. Yeah, that's what I thought.

My internship has told me they would like to discuss additional hours, I was working about 8 hours a week, due to my Kaplan course and my other job at the restaurant. Additional hours? That's great and wonderful that means they like me, but do I have additional hours to spare? I suppose I could cut out the time I spend at the gym, or the amount of sleep I hardly get, but is it really worth it for that extra $9/hr? Sure, it would be great to work additional hours to make the additional $9/hr to put towards graduate school..... oh wait, well what's the point of additional hours if I can't even pass the GRE test to get ACCEPTED to graduate school....

sounds like a dichotomy to me or maybe the conundrum in itself is all that is glorified to show me the life of that which I will be stuck with in the end results of not getting into graduate school.

Geeze, what a life I look forward to if I don't get into graduate school.

I made the comment to a friend that if I don't get it, I could always marry rich. Of course I was being facetious, but really I question myself everyday, what else am I good at? and everyday I hear the exact same answer.. NOTHING.

Well, I can take the test again next month, deadlines for graduate school are Dec 1. Will I make it? I have my sisters wedding at the end of October, we will be gone a week. I can spend as much time as possible studying while laying on the beach, but how much real study time will I have? Probably not a whole lot is what I'm thinking. If they bump up my hours at the internship, thats fewer hours I am able to spend studying, and the restaurant schedule is so chaotic I never know when I'm supposed to work next. Silly people.

I want this, I think.

Maybe, it's not where I'm supposed to end up but as of now I don't see any other options for me.

LOST:

MEGHAN'S LIFE DIRECTION

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