I Can't Get No Satisfaction: Day 3

It's day 3 of 21 and I'm still hanging in there.

ohh my gosh! Walnut and Rosemary crusted chicken tender lettuce wrap. I'm currently eating, again, as I write this post.

I think it's important for me to say "eating again" because it seems that's all I did today. Wake up, eat, coffee, eat, work on my conference paper, cook, eat, Facebook, nap, eat, work on conference paper, cook and here I am eating again.

I decided to forgo eating any eggs today for two reasons:
1. Trying to make them last for at least a week
2. Don't want to get burnt out on eggs too quickly. I have a feeling towards the end of this challenge I'll be so tired of meat and veggies that all I'll be able to stomach is eggs.

Moving on, when I awoke from my nap earlier I was thinking about Twizzlers. Weird, right? Not weird if you know me and how much I adore Twizzlers. It's better than the dream I had about eating marshmallows the morning after Thanksgiving. That was weird. So I had my first real sugar craving as I laid there thinking about Twizzlers. I woke up less tired but feeling more like crap. I had a headache, my stomach hurt and I was a bit confused. Not in the I don't know the answer or I don't understand kind of confused; but in the I can't think straight, possibly drunk kind of confused. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to think about, I couldn't focus my eyes on any one object in my room and I felt sick, but an unidentifiable sick, I couldn't pin point the weird feeling in my body like I normally can when I'm sick with a cold/flu/food poisoning, whatever. So I got up and just sort of walked around my apartment for a minute trying to regain control of my thoughts. It helped a little but I needed to sit down otherwise my body was going to expel something and I wasn't sure from where.

The confusion subsided shortly after I sat down. But then I needed to eat. Again.

Normally I'd be totally okay and loving how often I've been eating, but today it sucks and I'm afraid it's going to suck for quite a while. There is a difference between satisfaction and full, which I am unfortunately learning the hard way. Of course, I'm not an idiot and I know there is a difference but my stomach apparently wasn't aware of it or it forgot it.

I keep eating and eating and eating trying to satisfy myself but it's not working. The only thing that will satisfy me is this:

Which sucks.

So to ease the sugar craving I made mashed sweet potatoes with walnuts and cinnamon. Of course it wasn't and will never be as good as ice cream, it helped. A lot.

Moreover, I've realized that while I may be eating more often than usual, I don't think I'm consuming a different amount of calories than I normally would on a Paleo-free day. The difference is I haven't thought about calories at all today. It's pretty nice I'll say. Not that I'm an avid calorie-counter anyway, I'm just more AWARE of what food I eat that has a higher percentage of calories than other foods I eat. Of course, I will always opt for the smaller portion of something bad like ice cream- a single serving vs two scoops- but it's obviously not like I really deny myself anything unless of course I've eaten like shit (meaning high in calories) throughout the day and then the waiter asks me if I was dessert, I'll say no. Save myself a few hundred or (in a Chili's Moulton Chocolate Cake case) thousand calories.

My point is it's nice not to worry about calories because I can't eat like shit during this challenge. And even if I do eat well over 1800kcal (or so what I've researched for recommended for maintaining my current weight) it's okay because it's not going to be stored as little fat asses in my fat pockets in strategic little dimple-like star maps on my outer thighs, inner thighs, butt, hips, back of the arms, stomach, back fat, back boob, neck, or any other place my fat stores itself except for my in my chest. Clearly it doesn't store it self there... Damn.

I guess the best part of these past 3 days is the fact that I haven't once really craved any bread. At least not like I did the last time (see here for the last time).

I think going bread-free for 21 days will be easier than I think. Since the last time I tried going Paleo I've significantly dropped my bread intake. I used to literally eat slices of plain bread for a meal/snack. Or worse, with butter. Not even toasted! Although that does sound good right now it's not making my mouth water, which is a good sign I'd say. But the thought of unwrapping a Starburst, hell even the banana flavored one, is making me irritated and all water-mouthy. ugh..

Staying strong. Thank God I have coconut covered dates. They're so tasty and sweet! But because they do have 16 natural grams of sugar per date, I'll only allow myself one or two a day to keep my sugar intake as low as possible.

It's 9:15pm. I bet I eat one or two more times before I go to bed in like an hour. This is ridiculous. If I had known that all it took was to eat clean and not like crap all these years I'd of lost that whole pood in less than a year as opposed to the two years it took me by eating like shit still, counting calories, spending hours on a treadmill, switching from Vodka/cranberries to beers on a night out and not understanding why the weight wasn't coming off.


Damn. That extra weight I had on me looks a lot different like this:






Stay Paleo. Stay strong.